Christmas Break in a Small Town

Adapted from a piece I wrote last Christmas. Primarily for kicks, secondarily for giggles.

While many of us 20-somethings no longer get the freedom of having a “Christmas break” we do get the joy of seeing everyone we haven’t seen in awhile, who we may or may not have spent the entire year avoiding, in one place, at any given holiday hoorah.

For those of us privileged enough to live in places where there are less than three degrees of separation, whether you are at the grocery store or a swanky club, you know exactly what I am talking about. The difference between holiday time and any other time of the year in a small town is that during holiday time there is absolutely no running and even less hiding from these unsolicited encounters. (And yes, you are right. I was lying when I implied we had a swanky club.)

Seeing as how it is indeed that time of the year again, here are three scenarios you are likely to face in the coming few weeks if you find yourself spending the holidays in your small town, hometown—that is, if the world doesn’t end and the Mayans are hiding their heads in shame.

1.The Christmas Party. If the said party happens to be at your ex’s house, you can count on the fact that there will be that one photo that did not get taken down off of the fridge. Which one is it? Oh, you know the one. It’s the one you so subtly try to hide while no one is looking. Maybe everyone has forgotten by now, right? Sure they have. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Whether or not the party is at your recent ex’s house or not is almost a mute issue, because even if it isn’t, he and his new significant other will be busting in the door at any given moment, spreading drunken holiday cheer for everyone to enjoy, that is, everyone except for you. And where are you? Why, there you are, creeping off to the corner, inching closer and closer to the bathroom, trying to perfect the duck and cover, as you wrestle with the urge of purging.

2.The High School Reunion. Be it your high school group of friends or someone else’s, you are sure to encounter something that looks or feels like a high school reunion over the holidays. It seems that everyone who returns home for the holidays magically ends up together at any given overpopulated local bar. Of course this local bar happens to be one that you try and avoid every other night of the year, but somehow you find yourself ending up here tonight and now are being forced to listen to just how wonderful having a small child and a fancy jobs is. Meanwhile all your single brain can think is, I am not drunk enough for this. I NEEED A DRINNNNK. Right Meow. While darting over to the bar you realize even your classmates with babies are here. I guess they preplanned for a babysitter this time. Oh wait, nope. Well damn. Cue the strollers. I spot a baby up in this bar.

3. New Year’s Eve. Regardless of how you claim you want to do something different this year, you will undoubtedly end up with every other person in your town that does not want to spend New Years Eve home alone, drinking libations in the street and watching some weird object plummet from the sky. Too bad it fell so fast you missed it entirely while you were all too busy being distracted by the unassuming individual drifting ever so close to you in hopes of being your New Year’s midnight kiss. Little does he know your stubborn mind is always set elsewhere. Still the true beauty of this night is not in the night itself at all, but in the morning that is New Year’s day. Everyone will have been so wasted they could have hugged their worst enemy in the post midnight hours and not minded at all, because “Come on, it’s new years y’all. Wasn’t last night just magical!??” It sure was. Now turn on that football game.

And so, just when you think about throwing in the towel on the holidays and going all grumpy cat on the new year, whether you have felt like a winner or loser this year, I advise you to take heart and suck it up, swallow your pride even. Because one day my friends, you may move on from these places and will give anything to have these moments back, regardless of the awkward tension that may exist in the here and now. Walking into a bar and having not just one person but everyone and their brother and their sister and their crazy uncle Kenny know your name and provide you a warm welcome, does not only happen on TV—it happens in small towns. And trust me when I say that it doesn’t happen quite like this anywhere else. So perhaps this holiday season is the perfect time to buck up, maybe even buy your ex’s new main squeeze a shot (if she or he will let you) and realize there is a strange beauty and peace to be felt in unconditional camaraderie, even if it’s twisted.